no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
