tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
