i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
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Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
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