She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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