It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
