he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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