Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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