How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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