so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
