She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
