puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
