oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
