I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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