her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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