Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
