I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
