your thong is hanging out like whoa
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
