and i looked up. we had an audience...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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