i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
