Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dear god my vagina.
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