he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
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Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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