I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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