he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
