But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize