All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize