Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
