Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
