It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
