Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
