everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dignity is for republicans.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
