So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if only i could text you this smell
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize