the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
