that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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