So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
