Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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