She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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