My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
