It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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