Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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