If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize