5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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