I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
