Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
