Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize