does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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