shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
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No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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