Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize