just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
