how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My vagina just recognized that song.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
