some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
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I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
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Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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