Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
