come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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