When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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