Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
