A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Enjoy the penises
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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