Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize