I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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