he was CRYING into my vagina
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
