Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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