did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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