if you like me you must not know who I am
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
